His Secret Obsession
His Secret Obsession Projection can also be a very powerful healer when we realize that the positive love we feel for our partner and the positive attributes we see in them is also "us." It is impossible to see traits in our partner, whether positive or negative, that we don't hold in ourselves. The healing comes when we see that the unconditional love we feel for our partner is also meant for us. The danger in personal relationships comes when we project our disowned feelings onto our partner, thinking that they are the source of our suffering and unhappiness.
Unresolved pain that is unconsciously projected onto our partner eventually becomes the source of conflict that occurs in the relationship. What this unconscious projection can create is a "higher/lower game" where one partner becomes the "identified patient" or problem (lower) and the other becomes "the evolved one" (higher.) It then becomes apparent to the "higher" partner that the cause of any conflict in the relationship is outside themselves and resides in their partner. This is also reinforced as the "higher" partner continues to see the "lower" partner through the filter of his or her own projections. In other words, the "lower" partner actually becomes what the "higher" partner is thinking of them!
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